Asparagus boy and the Education facility of doom!

Ok so my youngest son as Aspergers syndrome, we call him asparagus boy because aspergers sounds like a description of a cat hocking up a furball, my cat aspergered all over ther carpet last night? Anyways... he also suffers from anxiety problems, and if left to his own devices he'll choose to remain home from school. In fact he has chosen to remain home from school soooo much that his regular school no longer takes him, instead he attends the activity center, which is a school operated under the umbrella of the local area state run schools. There are approximately 20 kids attending there, mostly with behaviour issues that have led to their not being able to attend the normal school. My son is doing better there with less kids to worry about he can fit in better, but there are still days when he wakes up and decides he simply isn't going.

I don't know what to do with him, something snaps inside him and he just can't bring himself to go, as far as I know he enjoys school there, and there are no problems with any of the other kids, or the teachers. But with the asparagus boy it can be something so tiny.. so minor that no one else can see it. And he won't speak up, to his mind he can't see why no one else can figure it out, it should be as obvious as the noses on our faces! I mean he can see what the issue is, clear as day. Somehow he thinks we're all having him on when we say, we don't understand, he thinks maybe we're playing a game with him, or mocking him somehow. It is incredibly frustrating, both for me and for him. Maybe it is his boxers ride up, or it could be that his shoes are getting too small. It might be that a new kid has started there, or that there was some muck on the edge of a plate he was handed for lunch. Maybe they rearranged something over the holidays? I'll never know until he tells me, and until he does, he'll just dig his heels in and not want to go to school.

It is hard for me, he genuinely feels uncomfortable, but he is not communicating what it is that makes him feel this way. Mostly others view it as him just being a naughty kid and wagging school, and sometimes I wonder if maybe I am just making up excuses for him. But I can read his body language, I know when he is slipping into closing himself down and shutting out the world, and it upsets me to see so much potential retreat back into a shell. The other day we were waiting for the start of term interview to go over goals for the term, and my boy was chatting away to me, a parent on the other side of the room made a comment and my son immediately started to shut down. His arms folded, he slouched in his chair and dropped his head, and began to make that loud 'huffy' breathing noise you know the "I'm going to sigh loudly to let you all know i'm not happy" noise. While he is getting better at dealing with other people, he is still not up to welcoming a stranger into his conversations. It makes me feel so sad to see it happen, but I can only keep on trying to urge him out of his shell.

why..

Why is it that when I make a botched dye job, and then decide to overdye it because anything else couldn't possibly be worse, and I fail to actually write down what I have done, I end up with an omg gorgeous colour that I have no chance at all of repeating again. major argh!

Surprises

So aparantly someone with my same name and email and passwords set up a blog some time ago and forgot to tell me about it! I have a bad memory, and I rediscovered this when I went to set up my other blog, it showed up in my user settings and had me flummoxed for a while. Oh well! this is my secret diary, the place where I post all my disasters and not so great thoughts.